Dating Thai
boys (52) BFC4in2017 Ton
Warning: There
are no wedding bells at the end. Rants about Thai character (more precisely:
character of most of the boys I meet).
Fri
7apr2017
BFC3in2017
First is just out of my room, and I have another boy on hornet. Ton stays at a
friend’s place 5 min walk from mine. Meet there, back to my room. In bed
everything fine (now with hindsight: the boy rather passive,
which means either different style or I’m not so much his type and at the
receiving end of pity sex), BFC4in2017. Stays over night but has to get up
at 5 am.
This is going
to be the one! With other boyfriend candidates, one of the problems was distance
(BFC1in2017 Art near MBK but not interested, BFC2in2017 Benz lives in Korat,
BFC3in2017 First is only passing through Bangkok; previous years similar), but
at 5 minutes walking, we can meet every day!
Sat
8apr2017
Get up at 5 am
with Ton (Is this love?), then back to sleep. Later in the day a completely new
problem arises: how to manage two BFCs at the same time? At night, First can’t
come because he is sick and Ton doesn’t come because he is
tired.
Sun
9apr2017
Ton comes at
night and stays o.n. Busy with phone (and after battery empty and iPhone cannot
charge on my plugs, internet on my computer). Video chat involving me (both of
us in bed) with various friends and family. No sex number
1.
Mon
10apr2017
Another day of
getting up at 5 am, Ton out 5:21 am, I continue sleeping. Ton posts pictures of
us in bed on facebook.
On Line, he
sends pictures of shoes he likes, and asks for money to buy them. Cannot. But I
turn it around into an invitation to come to Kanchanaburi 3d2n instead (failed
because he was working on 13apr2017, the first day of the trip). Well, we met
twice before he asked for anything, that can be counted as a good
start.
Tue
11apr2017
Ton (now in his
other room in Sukhumvit 97) suggests running together in Lumpini park in the
evening. On a normal day, I walk estimated 10 km, on a busy day, I walk 20 km,
so I don’t need any further exercise. In 2013-2016 I did running and swimming in
the hope of meeting cute boys, gave up (no cute boys). But here I agree, let’s
see where this leads.
Appointment at
clock tower is 17:30. I am there 17:35, and do an hour of reading on my mobile,
running one round, and texting with him until he finally arrives 18:35. Ask him
how he came here: taxi. (All the way from Suk
97? BTS+MRT would have been faster and cheaper, and how does
he have money for taxi?)
Running
together is going to be the bonding experience!
But no, he is
more interested in playing on his mobile phone, and what he calls running is
quick walking by my standards. After one round, during which I occasionally had
to take him by the hand to get him to actually run, he is exhausted and we sit
at the clock tower. I could have sack raced and come in first. I spot 160 unread
messages on Line (that means slow reply to my messages is
because they are down where he doesn’t see them any more), and is playing on
hornet (I stopped all gay dating activities after our first
encounter). He doesn’t want to come to my room now (about 19:00), but will
come at 10 pm. No sex number 2. I don’t message him to remind him, and he
doesn’t come. No show number 1.
Wed
12apr2017
Chat during
day, Ton asks for money to go eat with friends. No amount specified, I agree.
Appointment for 9 pm. 21:57 finally message “I’m here”. I go down to open the
door: there is nobody! Back to my room and ask where he is. 22:01 in front of my
building. (This kind of behavior is general, I will elaborate in
a separate post.)
Ton reminds me
of our chat (money for food), so I give him 300 Baht. Peek at his mobile phone
screen: 94% battery. And he brought a power bank! Playing on his phone all the
time. Videochat with friends and family, involving me (talking aobut my nose and
color of my nipples?) and going life on facebook. No sex number
3.
There must be
places where electronics is collected for recycling, that allow people to
destroy old mobile phones by throwing them at walls, trampling on them, smashing
them with a hammer? I would pay for that
pleasure.
Thu
13apr2017
Third time I
get up at 5 am with him, and then back to sleep.
Sun
16apr2017
Dinner with Ton
and his lady friend Dream (Thai food, 17:05-18:00, 210 Baht, their choice of
restaurant). I was expecting him to come with me after dinner, but no. No sex
number 4. He will come to meet me 8 pm. No show number
2.
I think he took
his lady friend to vet me as a prospective boyfriend. Or do I think more about
what Thai boys think, than Thai boys think?
With hindsight,
I have an idea what was going on. During our dinner they asked if I had been to
Asiatique (three times, and I don’t like it), and after dinner Dream messaged me
on facebook if I want to join to Asiatique (i.e. invite them to go there):
no.
The dinner was
just to fish for an invitation to Asiatique!
My readers
might wonder why I count how often we met without sex and how many no show. I
don’t need to have sex every time we meet, but there is little else to do: he is
looking at his phone or on my computer, I read a book and look at him, that’s
it.
With hindsight,
I realize we are looking for different things: I am looking for sex and he is
looking for an air-conditioned place with WiFi, and tolerates my presence. He
could have realized I’m looking for sex when we lie in bed and I hug and grope
him a few times, and I could have realized he is not looking for sex when these
hugs and gropes were not returned.
Now I realize,
I have been deluding myself that our prospects of becoming boy friends is
hanging on a thin thread, when in reality it was over the second time we
met!
If you read
only one paragraph of this article, let it be this
one:
And now I
can draw parallels to other Thai boys. With most boys, dating is a one-way road,
a black hole! All the time, commitment, money (reasonable amounts), emotional
involvement I give, nothing ever comes back! They only take, they don’t give
anything back!
(I told this
story to two experienced Farang friends, and their reply was: That did take you
so long to find out? Well, I’m guilty of deluding myself, hoping there is one
out who isn’t like the other, and that I just got that
one.)
I went to visit
one boy (M from Ratburi or Petburi) in Phuket in 2014, the reception was
lackluster. I finally found out he is a moneyboy who doesn’t say
so: http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/topic/10860-mmza1993/.
Another boy
(Nicky BFC6in2015) was in Rangsit, and I went there twice to meet
him (only fair, he works long hours and I’m free all day, so I
do the 2-hours each way trip because I have more time), and then:
lackluster! Details
here http://christianpfc.blogspot.com/2016/09/boyfriend-candidate-6-in-2015.html
Mon
17apr2017
Ton messages he
is sorry for not coming yesterday. Was tired from work. Meet 10 pm today (My
suggestion of time, I’m away and only back 9:30). No show number
3.
Tue
18apr2017
Ton messages
sorry for not coming yesterday, tired from work.
Wed
19apr2017
Ton asks to
meet at Starbucks in Q-House Lumpini (where he works) in the evening
(ตอนเย็น dton-yen). The
previous days, he finished work 10 pm, so I leave this message unreplied until
20:50 to ask when he finishes work today: finish already. I could have guessed
from evening versus night (in Thai as clear as in English:
evening เย็น yen which would be between 16 and 19 and
night ทุ่ม tûm which would be between 19 and 24), but deliberately
delayed because I have no interest to vine and dine him and probably his friends
at Starbucks, and then “Thank you, bye!”.
Thu
20apr2017
Now I need a
few days rest from him to overcome my aggravation about non-commitment, playing
games, slow reply, no show; and then ask if we can meet (just us two) to talk
about our future, i.e. ask him what he is looking for with me, tell him I’m
looking for sex and boyfriend with him (or rather leave that out, this chance
has passed), and finally offer 500 Baht for sex to make this a clear
money-for-sex relationship: no more waste of my time, no games, and no more
no-shows.
(We haven’t
been in contact since then. He might have forgotten about me, while I still
mourn this missed chance.)
A spectacular
fail. Not just that I didn’t get the boy, but he drained a lot of time and
energy from me (but only little money).
Copyright 2017
ChristianPFC
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